Dear Friends,
You know those feelings you get when you have way too much to do, and much of it is going wrong, and then a client, vendor, or colleague does or says something against a policy, protocol, or simply common sense? What do you do with those feelings?
I found a trusted someone who would listen as I ranted and complained. I always appreciate them for listening and make myself available to them if they need to vent. It seemed like a healthy way to blow off steam and maybe even prevent an inappropriate blow-up.
Then last summer, I read this blog post about venting by Dr. Marie Holowaychuck, a veterinarian who, after experiencing her own burn-out, has made it her mission to increase awareness about mental health and wellbeing in our profession. I had to consider what impact my venting was having on the person receiving my vent and on the team around me. Was I venting just to complain? Were my vents making anything better in the practice, or was I just making other people feel bad? Was this “letting off steam” even making me feel better?
What I have since realized is that venting – whether on the giving or receiving end – often made me feel worse. In retrospect, I hate thinking that I was doing that to my colleagues!
Since reading that article, I have made a very conscious effort to change how I blow off steam.
Step 1: I take a break. After a walk around the building, a few deep breaths, a quick trip to Starbucks, or even a trip to the water fountain, my need to vent sometimes goes away or is at least less urgent
Step 2: I consider if this is a problem my team or I can fix – because solving the problem and then sharing the solution DOES make me feel better!
Step 3: For those things, I or we can’t fix, I ask myself if I can move past the incident without talking about it. Sometimes I can’t. When that happens, I still reach out to someone to vent but do it differently now. I think about who I can talk to who has distance from the situation. This person will be someone who cares about me, but not someone who works in my practice, knows my staff, or is in a stressful situation of their own and would be overwhelmed.
Step 4: I try to weigh my words. There is a huge difference in the impact on practice atmosphere when you say: “Can you believe the backup we had in our parking lot yesterday? These clients are always late and they never fill out their forms ahead of time!” and the solution-focused statement: “Let’s figure out how we can streamline our intake process.” And there’s even a difference between saying “I can’t believe those clients waited so long to bring their dog in!” and saying the same with a positive ending: “...but I’m glad they did. We’re already helping him, and he’s going to be ok.”
My Ace: A Little Help From Our Friends
Whether what’s bugging me is something I or my practice can solve or something I need to get off my chest so I can get on with my day, the first people I confide in are almost always other VHMA members. No one understands what I face as a practice manager like all of you do. And whether you’re in Florida or Ohio, you have likely experienced this thing that is bugging the bleep out of me!
VHMA has been crowdsourcing since way before crowdsourcing was cool. Post an issue you are facing on MemberConnect, and you’ll see what I mean. What I’ve learned from other members has often been put to work in my practice – there’s nothing like going into a problem-solving meeting with possible solutions that have already worked!
My non-venting effort has not always been successful, but I have found that by focusing on solutions and seeking the positive in even stressful situations, I feel a little lighter.
Sincerely,
Jessica Speas, CVPM, SPHR, PHR-ca, SHRM-SCP, CCFP
VHMA President
#PracticePulse