It has been more than eight months since the Novel Coronavirus made the news, seven months since the first case of COVID-19 was diagnosed in the U.S., and almost six months since states began advising residents to shelter at home. As the pandemic continues to impact physical, psychological, and financial health, we are doing our best to cope---but some are coping a bit better than others.
There is even a term to describe behavior during these trying times: Coronavirus rudeness. Tempers are flaring, nerves are frazzled, and patience is being tested. Staff and colleagues report that while trying to deal with increased workloads, stress, and changes in business operations, they have a new issue to contend with…the angry client!
Why are so many more clients behaving aggressively? Just as stress is mounting, many of the coping strategies we previously relied upon are either no longer available or operating at reduced capacity.
Mental health professionals report that anger and acting out can be related to underlying difficulties, including anxiety, depression, and loss of control. Clients who are combative, hostile, and exhibit behavior bordering on violence are not necessarily reacting to those on whom they are venting their anger. Rather, the behavior is symptomatic of issues that may be related to the pandemic, including job loss, dwindling savings, or loss of control.
Calming angry clients and salvaging the professional relationship is a legitimate concern in the industry. Working with irate clients can be challenging, especially when staff may be confronting similar issues and trying their best to keep their emotions in check. In these situations, I advise my team to try and remain detached and not allow others to fan the flames in you. Fighting fire with fire can only lead to an inferno. Remember, you cannot change a client’s anger. What you can do is try to redirect.
Often, listening carefully to what the client is really trying to say once all the emotion is ignored can be helpful. Sometimes clients just need to vent before they are ready to cooperate. It is not unheard of for people to even apologize for their behavior if they are allowed to speak uninterrupted. When you give them your full attention, they feel that what they are saying matters. You do not have to agree, but it is important to absorb and process. Yes, the client is angry. Undeniably the behavior is abominable, but writing them off and failing to listen, will compromise your understanding about the encounter. Try not to discount the client before you have insight into the real issue.
Keep in mind that you do not want your behavior to set the client off. Muster your internal resources and try to remain calm and professional. Believe me, I know how difficult it can be not to become emotional when someone is spewing hurtful remarks. However, responding in kind and letting their rant get the better of you will inflame the situation, rather than de-escalate it.
When speaking with angry clients, avoid facial expression and body language that may undermine your efforts to remain neutral. If the goal is to be open and impassive, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms will not convey that. Strive to be consistent and controlled in all encounters.
One of my pet peeves is when people who are dealing with clients use clichés to appease someone who is highly emotional. There is nothing more aggravating than a customer service representative who says, “I understand how you feel.” End of discussion! If, in fact, you do understand how a person feels, you should use that empathy to devise a solution that may help to resolve the issues. If there is no way to reasonably address a client’s demand, be honest and forthcoming. While there may not be an immediate solution, their feedback can be used to make future changes.
Occasionally, there may be times when you just cannot break through to the client and their anger is overpowering. With no resolutions or behavior change imminent, it may be time to ask for assistance and consult with others on the team. Keep yourself, staff, other clients, and patients safe. If the client’s anger appears to be increasing, seek the help of those who are trained. The situation may be more severe than just an angry client. Do not put yourself and others at risk.
During these challenging times, anger is not uncommon. If handled effectively, it does not have to have a damaging impact on yourself and others. When we encounter others who are angry, the best we can do is to try to de-escalate the situation and possibly refer them for help. When it is our anger that is becoming problematic, we should keep an open mind, be aware of the multiple platforms where help can be found, and secure assistance promptly.
VHMA’s website contains several resources that can be helpful during the pandemic, as many of us react and adapt to our new reality. Please do not hesitate to reach out.
Stay safe and healthy!
Michelle Gonzales-Bryant, CVPM
VHMA President